A MASSIVE part of discernment is acknowledging the differences that exist between you and another.
A huge emotional component of “maturing” is being able to “individuate” or see yourself as separate from the individuals who raised you…your caretakers.
These people are the people who most intimately shaped our worldview.
We depended on these people for many primal needs of our immature being.
These people literally shaped our nervous systems before we had any form of conscious awareness.
Because we depended on them so vehemently in the past, does not mean that we need that dependence moving forward.
One of the most painful experiences of my life was the conscious acknowledgement that my mother, the woman whom I looked up to for EVERYTHING was just another human trying her best to figure it out.
Just as our parents unconsciously project their un lived lives onto us,
we often unconsciously project God like properties onto our parents.
It truly is a consequence of childlike, immature egos.
This isn’t something to shame yourself over because I have yet to work with anyone who hasn’t struggled with this.
It is a part of ego maturity to allow those people to fall from the pedestals you unconsciously put them upon.
When we can view our parents as imperfect humans doing the best that they can, we can separate ourselves from their beliefs, their judgements, and THEIR un lived lives.
You build discernment by building strength in your mature ego.
YOU can reparent yourself and give your immature, childlike ego the attention and love that maybe your parents could not.
Do you want to die carrying a cross that doesn’t belong to you?
Dragging and/or carrying generations of projected baggage?
OR do you want to put it down and start to live YOUR life.
The decision is made over time by gentle, intentional movements away from childhood and into individuality.
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"Healing does not mean you reach an end point where conflict no longer exists.
Healing is about the task of finding meaning and growing through the process.
When the meaning of your inner conflict is discerned and your personal path to individuation becomes clearer, though you may still suffer greatly, you will understand the meaning and have it flowing endlessly from your personal path."